The New Beginning

For those of you who know me, I tried to start a blog a while back for my photography. I got frustrated and couldn't get it to look the way I wanted, so like most things, I gave up. However, new year=new leaf and I have decided to try it. Greer and Dad say that it is addicting and fun to do, so I figured why not? It could be a good outlet. Something I can come to at 3 in the morning when I can't sleep because my mind is racing; while you're in college, it happens a lot. Now, if you'll please excuse the occasional bad grammar use. I am only a freshman, and while my English 1102 teacher would be sad to hear me say this, I cannot write perfectly yet. I would like to start off this blog with an obituary. No one died, don't worry. But I feel that I need to give a kiss goodbye to the old me. I want to change things about myself and say "au revoir" to some bad habits and past regrets. Mom said to me once, "you can't forget without forgiving", well here is where I do both.

When I look back, I realize I could have, should have, and would have done a lot of things differently. But I can't go back, I can only move forward. I choose, today, to focus on things day by day. I will focus on becoming a better student, daughter, sister, photographer, teacher-in-the-making, and friend. I, like everyone else, have made mistakes in life and will continue to make them. I learn from these mistakes and become a better person due to them. To the people I have hurt during these mistakes, I am sorry, but this is my last sorry. I choose to move on, the ball is in your court now (although, I will not volley back). I have realized in so many ways that there is so much more to life than petty drama. There are people out there with greater issues than who wore what to class and "oh my gosh, she has the same purse as me!"

I owe almost all of who I am to my sisters (mom and dad, I will come to you next). Chelsea, you are a vital part of the way I think and act today. I find myself constantly thinking "well, how would Chels handle this situation?" You are a strong, fearless, passionate person and I truly think you are a blessing to have in my life. You have come so far and done so much, watching you grow up makes me want to better myself. Thank you so much for being my sister, my best friend, and my nutritionist, I love you so much.

Greer, your humor is what gets through the day sometimes. The silly texts or wall posts on facebook are sometimes all I need to turn the worst day into a big smile. You have so much respect from me for what you have accomplished in life. Seeing you be a mother just brings tears to my eyes to see that my sweet oldest sister is now a mommy. If you are half the mother to Laine that you are a sister to me, Laine is one lucky little girl. I love you with all my heart.

Mom, of course you are the reason I am alive, but you are also the reason that I am slightly controlling, I have to plan things out, I make lists, and I get cranky when I am cold. Oh, and we can't forget what you've done to all of us with the lack of pepper in our diets. I always jokingly say that you are so annoying and I am so glad I am not like you, but the truth is, I would be the luckiest daughter in the world to be like my mom. You are a tough little cookie and can make anyone shake in their shoes. I love you so, so much.

Now Dad, I owe my ebay selling, technology loving, and hatred for shopping. But I don't think any of those are bad qualities, right? :) You are also the reason, besides the fact that you pay for it, that I attend college. You are the smartest person I know, and I really do tell everyone I meet how smart you are. You amaze me with how well you do your job and how much you love it, and I can only hope that one day I can love what I do as much as you do.

Over the past few years, months, and even days I have realized how truly blessed I am and how I take every breath for granted. Besides the minor bumps in the road, I have an amazing life. I have family that care oodles and oodles about me and I have met amazing friends at school that will continue to shape who I am. So this blog has multiple purposes. Its goodbye to the old me that would complain about lunch being moved to a different location and having too much homework, to a person who loves life and can't wait for the next breath. This is also a thank you to my family who have made my life so amazing. And lastly, this is my final "sorry" to the people who still hold onto the past. I choose to move on, be strong, and keep my chin up. Life is good.